i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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