do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
