i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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