You smell like a Billy Joel song
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
