a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
