i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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