I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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