I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
