Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
