What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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