also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
