What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
