i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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