I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
