I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
