What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
should my penis look like a turkey
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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