dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
