Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
