Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
