what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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