so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
