I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
