toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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