my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
