it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
