I'm laying in your front yard are you home
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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