The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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