i permit you to call me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
