were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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