My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
