remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
