I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
