I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
