It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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