How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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