I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said her name was "party"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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