and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
