I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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