why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
