Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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