Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
