Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
