Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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