i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
