is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
