Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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