i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
