You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
