You work out of a Hotel?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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