her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
