yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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