I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
