Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
